Feeling down (my experience with Hives)

One of my worry came true, in year 2003 when i went to perth, australia to study pharmacy in the first year i develop a condition called hives (eczema). This condition was triggered by my skin unable to tolerate or adapt to the weather in perth. I ask my lecturer regarding my condition and she ask me take polaramine (drowsy antihistamine) , I've been to A&E and the doctor told me my skin is having trouble perspiring (bullshit). Anyway all i could do was to take drowsy antihistamine on daily basis and still it doesn't really work. With this skin condition i'm afraid of sun (like a vampire), if i'm expose to sun my skin will develop rashes, and most of the time i need to cool myself down under running water to ease the itch. So for one whole year i feel drowsy on daily basis, and do not have any social life since i can't go out under the sun. Not only that i could not have any emotion changes, for example if someone scares me or i felt there is a emotional shift, it would trigger my skin allergy.

However the moment i travel back to Malaysia during holiday time, my eczema issue never arise, ever since then i travel back to Malaysia every 6 months to recover or have a period free from eczema. Then somehow later in the second year my skin condition start to improve and before i knew it i no longer suffer from eczema anymore.

Now in 2016 i traveled to europe for 11days and spend another 12days in london during autumn october-november and 1week in hokkaido japan during winter time december. I never experience any recurrence of the condition nor feeling it coming back.

Last month when i was forced to walk under malaysia weather for 30mins only did i experience a slight sensation of skin getting uncomfortable, i would say 30% of what i felt during my eczema period before the rashes develop/onset. 

I thought i would never experience this problem anymore since i already had it once and was able to overcome it after all i did spend 6 years in perth (only 1.5year with eczema). I knew my skin condition might be an issue and was prepared for it this time (apply skin lotion and taking probiotics). Now when i think back whats actually makes my skin recover was down to two factors. Firstly, going back to Malaysia to have a break and let my skin condition goes back to normal. Secondly, i bought a car in my 2nd year in perth, this has cut down tremendously my time spent under the cold strong wind and hot sun. Suddenly it all kinda make sense. Diet definitely doesn't play a role in my eczema. Is all about weather and emotion.

Yesterday when i arrived in UK i was very cheerful and excited, this morning i spend more than 1hours walking around the city under cold wind and hot sun twice (7am and 10am). I can feel my skin getting sensitive, the weather is dry cold and hot, while in malaysia the weather is hot and humid. I really don't like the combination of hot and cold, hot on my face but cold on my body. Back to my hotel there are very fade sign of rashes developing on my back after a few hours my body start to itch a little and i have to go to pharmacy to buy antihistamine. 

Straight off i notice a major change in my mood, i no longer feel happy and excited, my cheerful and optimistic voice suddenly change to small volume and my face no longer putting on smile. My focus attention is on my body & skin feeling, thinking when will my rashes develop. It is a nightmare having hives, eczema as the rashes spread throughout your body and you feel crazy itch and your emotion goes straight bottom and at that moment sometimes you feel like you're better of dying.

You are unable to focus of whatever you're going to do since all you do is worrying about when the next attack would happen. And you would keep your emotion in check preventing yourself from experiencing too much, you just wanna maintain a zen or wooden boring state of mind. Absolutely no social life.

I have come to a conclusion i need to avoid the weather as much as possible, meaning no exposure to the sun or cold wind. Is just all indoor from now on, go to school and stay in school then go home and stay home. I need to purchase a car as soon as possible hopefully within 2 weeks times. Then we shall see how my skin react this time. I would never ever wanted to go back suffering from HIVES ever again.

Edit: emotion of feeling anxious and worry throughout one whole month definitely play a role in accelerating my skin condition. Before coming to UK i kept thinking whether or not i made the correct choice of giving up my house, my car, and everything i build for 7 years since coming back to malaysia from australia, leaving my perfectly comfortable lifestyle in exchange for a new lease of life starting all over again back to 20years old (living poorly eating instant noodle for 1 year, Ohhh gosh those days). Once i reach UK i also face the problem of finding accommodation, I'm currently spending 70-75 pound per night in Mode hotel (average per month rent is 400-500 pound per room in residential area) and i probably only could move in my room in mid october and the room isn't confirm available it depends on whether the room tenant is able to find work in london so she could leave maidstone. I just extend my stay in the hotel from 23/9-27/9, and i don't know where i'm going to stay until mid october. Airbnb is only available 1/10 onwards. I'm in a stressful situation at the moment, it would be easy on me if my luggage is only 20kg, then i could keep changing my accomodation on a cheap rate until mid october. I hurt my hand/wrist for carrying 31kg of luggage to the 2nd floor in this hotel without lift.